I have never met a person who didn’t want to be liked.  I believe it is an inherent desire in all of us.  For some of us, it comes naturally.  However, for a lot of us it does not.  Some of us have lived sheltered lives and have difficulty coming out of our shells.  Fortunately, there are things we can do to change this.  Here are a few basic tips.



I don’t mean walk around with a big grin on your face.  A subtle smile is fine.  We are often attracted to people who look approachable and friendly.


Be Polite

Simple words like “Hi”, “Thank you”, “No thank you”, “Please”, “When you get a chance, would you mind…”,  and “I apologize” can go a long way.


Start Conversations

I find that one of the easiest ways to start a conversation with someone I don’t know is to give them a sincere compliment about something they are wearing, or mention something positive I have observed about their behavior.  For example, “That is a nice outfit you’re wearing”; Or, “You are always very positive and upbeat.  I admire that.”  You can follow those statements up with “How is your day going so far?”



Take an interest in what others are saying by concentrating on listening.  Try not to focus on what you are going to say next.  (I am so guilt of this.)  It takes a lot of practice.


Ask Questions

If the person is a co-worker, you can ask about the types of things they enjoy doing when they are not in the office, what type of work they did in the past, movies they like, etc.  Do a search online for “great questions”.  This will give you other interesting suggestions.


Learn Something New Every Day

When you learn something new every day, it helps to boost your self-confidence.  But don’t take on a “know it all” attitude.  That can turn people off fast.

One way to share new information without sounding like a “know it all” is to start off by saying “I heard…”



It is amazing how positive affirmations can change how we feel about ourselves.  With all the negativity we encounter daily, we all need a little positive self-talk.

Here are some positive things you can say to yourself daily:

“I am smart and I am confident.”

“I am a likeable person.”

“If I can believe it, I can achieve it.”




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